Weekly: The necessary step
One of my favorite Mary Oliver poems, The Journey, begins:
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and
began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
That's what today's newsletter is about: what to do when you know what you have to do, but you feel afraid.
With love,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
As Mary Oliver so beautifully describes, to get to where you want to go, you have to walk through your trembling house — as I interpret it, face the tremblings of your own fear.
That growth you hope for? That beauty you're seeking? That peace you wish to cultivate? That love you yearn for?
More often than not, for these wishes to be fulfilled, a courageous act is required: applying for a new job, taking time off, learning a new hobby, asking for help, or putting yourself out there.
Courage enables it all. Maya Angelou said, "I am convinced that courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently."
Here's one way to practice courage.
Our instinctive response to the trembles is to focus on all of the scary things that might happen if we pursue our dream. For example:
It'll be embarrassing
I'll get rejected
People will judge me
I might fail
I don't know how to make it all happen right now
In doing so, we ignore the scary things that might happen if we don't pursue our dream, including:
Feeling unfulfilled
Always wondering, "What if?"
Experiencing loneliness
Becoming resentful or bitter
Burning out or losing touch with our authentic selves
When you see them laid out, it's often quite clear: the costs of not acting are often far greater. They're worth the risk of embarassment, rejection, judgment, failure, or uncertainty.
Try it for yourself.
Think about one of your dreams. Then, ask yourself: What is the cost of not pursuing it?
More Tips and Tools
1. This problem doesn't define you — This week's animation will help you build your resilience.
2. You don't have to be consistent — It's not the most important way to achieve your goals.
3. The power of your voice — You have so much power, and you can use it by speaking up.
4. You didn't waste the day — You lived the day.
5. Unlearn what you've been told — Let go of who you're "supposed" to be.
Or listen to the podcast episodes (Apple, Spotify) from this week!
Community
When have you faced a fear? What happened next?
"I’m afraid of heights. Back in 2013, I went rock climbing with my high school, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. As I was trying to go up, I panicked and had to take a couple of breath before I could even try again. I was tired and in pain but after a few minutes I was able to get to the finish line. I can say I climbed up Table Rock in North Carolina."
"Presenting in front of 100+ people. I learned that it was a fear not shared by others and so there was no fanfare when I completed presenting. I got feedback that I performed an excellent presentation, but most of the audience was not aware I was so nervous."
"Going to college in a different state was definitely scary but I have grown so much since.
"I started dancing last autumn and now I have more friends and I fell in love with my body."
"Starting therapy was the scariest thing I ever did. Feels really good to have taken that step for myself and get professional help."
"I was terrified of telling my mom about my trauma. After 8 yeras I broke my silence. She embraced and thanked me for finally showing her the complete version of me."
Inspiration
1. The most intricate art, made only of folds (Colossal) — I'm in awe of this.
2. I still write Valentine's cards (Shondaland) — Let's bring back this childhood tradition!
3. Upstate New York's book village (NYT) — Hobart, New York. Population, 400. Book stores: 8.
Before You Go
Listen to the Newsletter
No spam, just joy.
